Lately, I have been complaining about some of NYC’s shortcomings and I feel like I need to cut the Big Apple a slice of slack.
I get pretty hostile when I have to do things I consider unpleasant.
Any kind of chore or errand for instance. Stopping for gas. Ugh. I am the worst at this. I will take that gauge down to zero, until I am frantically looking for a gas station at the final hour. We bought a diesel car so now the fill-ups are maybe monthly, which is better, but I still make the husband do that. He would love if the car was filled up all the time. Ha. Not on my watch.
Groceries. I hate grocery shopping. The clanging of basket to basket from rude shoppers that refuse to move out of the way drives me nuts. It’s like being around road-ragers. They look at you like it’s your fault that they’re the jerk. I get claustrophobic and angry and the whole thing is just not fun for me.
Insert New York City.This lovely city has made it possible for me to sit home and have everything I need delivered to my door. (Well, the gas station attendant won’t actually come here, but we do have some full service stations, which of course, I frequent.) Other large cities have these conveniences as well, but we’re not here to talk about them.
Thank you, thank you for food delivery service.
I started using Peapod delivery service when I lived in Chicago. It was the best discovery I ever made. Turn on the computer, sit back, pour yourself a glass of wine and peruse the many selections of fruits, veggies, meats, seafood and dairy products and…relax. I can decide which brand of olive oil I want without waiting for some annoying person in the aisle to make their choice between Extra Virgin Olive Oil or regular old virgin oil (we all know an extra virgin is better, right?) and get out of the way. There’s no lost husband with a grocery list in his hand scratching his head looking for capers. He doesn’t know what the hell capers are. Instead, I can take another sip of wine and decide which brand of mayonnaise to buy that will gross my husband out the least (there are none) and which BBQ sauce I want to put on my scrambled eggs (yep, he finds that repulsive too.)
Another awesome feature is you always know what you are spending. You can price compare and add or delete an item. Your “cart” is always there to tell you what you are spending like any other purchases you make online. Just don’t take too many sips of wine; you don’t want to order something by mistake. A couple weeks ago, I thought I was ordering two pieces of ginger root and ended up with two packages of it. Since I don’t plan on making a batch of Ginger Beer or Ginger tea any time soon (or ever,) I’m going to have to chalk that up to a Sauvignon Blanc mishap and pitch it. And just yesterday, I ordered $12 worth of squash. I meant to get two squashes total. I suggest a two glass maximum while ordering.
New York City has Fresh Direct and it’s just as awesome. The food is fresh (it’s in the name after all) and well, they bring it to your door and then to your kitchen counter. The added cost for the convenience is minimal and it’s worth the $5-$10 tip for the delivery person. Not having to lug groceries to your car and then up the stairs or elevator to your house is worth its weight in gold. Or artichokes. Yes, this is laziness at its best and I am not ashamed.
Other NYC conveniences I would like to give props to:
Booze, wine, beer. Whatever your little liver desires, you can have it delivered. Make sure you tip well. We don’t want this service to ever, ever go away.
Dr. McDreamy- you can now order up a Doctor to make house calls when you are too sick to leave the house. Maybe that’s a fantasy of yours to have a hot doc show up while you are dressed in your nurses outfit. I haven’t tried this service yet so I don’t know who might show up at the door- Doogie Howser, Patrick Dempsey or Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman. I’d wear pajama jeans on that first trial if I were you.
Seamless- On nights when you don’t feel like cooking with all that food that was just delivered by Fresh Direct, no fear. Pop open your laptop again and go to Seamless.com. Put in your zip code and BAM! Hundreds (depending on where you live) of restaurants that deliver are at your fingertips. You order online and even tip online. Again, tip like a decent human being. These delivery guys are like postal workers- they ride their bikes everywhere in the city with food bags strapped to them in the rain, snow and heat. Be nice.
Uber- Have a fancy black town car from Uber come pick you up and take you to the airport in style. Unlike cabs, they don’t stink (except for some drivers and their excessive Axe body spray) are clean and some have leather interior. They have an app which stores your credit card info and the tip is included. It doesn’t get easier than that.
With the stresses of everyday life of working and being completely attentive to my husband, sometimes a princess in her second floor tower surrounded by graffiti just needs to sit home and have things brought to her.
Photo credit: https://www.flickr.com/photos/qmnonic/
An Honest Swallow 
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