Absence makes the liver…Sadder? Day One
Let’s talk about these favorite things of mine.
Right now it’s 6:52 pm on March 3rd and normally we would be picking out a bottle of wine for dinner. Instead, we will be having tea. Lots and lots of tea.Detox tea to be exact. And compared to wine, it really sucks.
We are both pretty angry about it.
All day I have had moments of daydreaming about a buttery Chardonnay dripping long legs of yumminess inside a white wine glass while I peruse the Internet. Or having a delicious salad and cleansing my palate with a crisp Sauvignon Blanc. I’m Dreaming of sipping on a Hendricks and soda during Happy Hour at the local bar.
I’m not a huge carb person, but I do enjoy my Carr’s water crackers with chunks of cheese, an afternoon snack of Kashi Warm Cinnamon cereal, and my morning egg sandwich on an English muffin. I don’t crave pasta or eat plates of fries, but carbs are definitely slipped into a lot of foods, so it could be tough.
OMG. Where do I start? Lindt’s Classic Recipe Hazelnut Chocolate has taken up residence in our kitchen drawer for months. It’s there for me when I’m happy, sad, moody or just bored. It’s the perfect finish to a great dinner. Peanut butter. I am obsessed with peanut butter. I eat it by the spoonful, which is part of the reason I can’t squeeze into my size 2’s anymore. First World Problem, I know. But it is what it is.
There are fricking Girl Scout cookies in this house that the fiancé had to HIDE from me. They were even hidden in plain sight-the freezer-and I didn’t find them. He brought them out on Saturday, when we were tipsy and having fun. This is why they need to be hidden. We ate an entire sleeve.
I’m not going to lie and try to be optimistic about this. I am not going to promote this healthy lifestyle as something fun and energizing. I am going to die when I watch The Real Housewives of New York and they are drinking wine and eating chocolate. I will lash out at friends who are going out to enjoy Happy Hour.
This is simply an emergency situation (impending muffin tops and ass jelly) that calls for unfortunate sacrifices.
And so, I hold my cup of detox tea up to you and toast to juicing our vegetables, eating our lean protein and trying not to kill each other.
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