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Absence makes the liver…Sadder? Day One

Girl in glassMonday

Let’s talk about these favorite things of mine.

1. Alcohol:

Right now it’s 6:52 pm on March 3rd and normally we would be picking out a bottle of wine for dinner. Instead, we will be having tea. Lots and lots of tea.Detox tea to be exact. And compared to wine, it really sucks.

We are both pretty angry about it.

All day I have had moments of daydreaming about a buttery Chardonnay dripping long legs of yumminess inside a white wine glass while I peruse the Internet. Or having a delicious salad and cleansing my palate with a crisp Sauvignon Blanc. I’m Dreaming of sipping on a Hendricks and soda during Happy Hour at the local bar.

2. Carbs:

I’m not a huge carb person, but I do enjoy my Carr’s water crackers with chunks of cheese, an afternoon snack of Kashi Warm Cinnamon cereal, and my morning egg sandwich on an English muffin. I don’t crave pasta or eat plates of fries, but carbs are definitely slipped into a lot of foods, so it could be tough.

3. Sugar:

OMG. Where do I start? Lindt’s Classic Recipe Hazelnut Chocolate has taken up residence in our kitchen drawer for months. It’s there for me when I’m happy, sad, moody or just bored. It’s the perfect finish to a great dinner. Peanut butter. I am obsessed with peanut butter. I eat it by the spoonful, which is part of the reason I can’t squeeze into my size 2’s anymore. First World Problem, I know. But it is what it is.

There are fricking Girl Scout cookies in this house that the fiancé had to HIDE from me. They were even hidden in plain sight-the freezer-and I didn’t find them. He brought them out on Saturday, when we were tipsy and having fun. This is why they need to be hidden. We ate an entire sleeve.

I’m not going to lie and try to be optimistic about this. I am not going to promote this healthy lifestyle as something fun and energizing. I am going to die when I watch The Real Housewives of New York and they are drinking wine and eating chocolate. I will lash out at friends who are going out to enjoy Happy Hour.

This is simply an emergency situation (impending muffin tops and ass jelly) that calls for unfortunate sacrifices.

And so, I hold my cup of detox tea up to you and toast to juicing our vegetables, eating our lean protein and trying not to kill each other.

Cheers.

Photo: All rights reserved by d3_plus

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4 Comments »

  1. Hello! 🙂 I can so relate to your endeavour. Detox’s, Fast’s, Diet’s, Food Control – done them all, and know how nightmarish it feels!. Friday night I was ‘good’, I gave up ordering a Chinese takeaway and instead made a pure vegatable stew (I know! 😉 and I cannot stand veggies hence adding loads of herbs/spices to disguise the taste, plus chopped them tiny too! But, if we want to shed the pounds, get rid of the dimply bottom, what esle an we do? 😀 Just go easy on yourself. And remember that where there’s a will, there’s always a way! 🙂

    • We finished this past Friday. My fiancé lost 14 pounds (of course, because he’s a man!) and I like 5.5. We indulged over the weekend, and I thought I would enjoy it more. Turns out, I just felt icky and guilty. So, we are going to continue with the clean eating and just limited amounts of alcohol. I feel like this may have changed our lives. We eat so many vegetables now, and I actually crave them! I, like you, never used to like them much. It’s been a great transition. I highly recommend it!

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